Random Animals Blog

Observe the brown trout in its natural habitat, bottom-feeding in tandem on herbs and shallots. Only joking! This is a pair of brown trout that have been brutalised by human handiwork!

Or maybe these trout didn’t meet their crispy end at the hands of humans. What if they are, in fact, female brown trout and the explanation for their current predicament is the shocking result of their vaguely dishonest behaviour in the sack. What if…

You see, female brown trout are fakers. They are nature’s prick teasers, convincing the naïve male trout in their environs that they’re hitting the spot when they couldn’t be further from it. Yes, female brown trout fake orgasms so that their chaps peak too early and they escape without any further harassment.

Apparently some male trout feel aggrieved in light of this new information. The one with the oven gloves and the Gary Rhodes hairdo certainly looks suspicious.

(I know what you’re thinking though: fish are orgasmic now?)